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When life seems “just wrong,” what can you do to make it “right”? 

Remedy offers biblical principles for hope, healing, and freedom

from substance abuse and

other destructive behaviors. 

Remedy meets every Thursday from 6.30 to 8.30

in the Well @ Element.

Our first gathering of the broken, abused, and hurting

is February 2^nd. 

A Gift

A collection of pithy sayings

in a book called “Daily Reprieve”

A note from a role model

saying “post these on Remedy’s Facebook page”

A brief salutation on the first page signed

 “Continuing the journey,

Dayle Eastman”

A deep sense of sincere appreciation

for a gift from a wise man’s  heart.

Dry Drunk

A “dry drunk” is someone who has given up drinking and drugging

but has not made any internal or emotional changes –

 they stay the same but the substance is gone.

Or it can be someone who is abstinent and on a progressive path of recovery but has slowly returned to chaotic and unrealistic thinking.

If this is you, you have entered the “Extreme Danger Zone.”  

 Don’t wait for someone to come to you –

 be proactive and seek help

from someone you know and trust! 

Happiness

Another one of my favorite movies is Tombstone.  After settling in Tombstone, Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell) takes his stud for a ride in the hills outside of town.  By chance, he encounters the beautiful Josephine Marcus (Dana Delany) riding her mare through the same hills.  Together, they ride the hills and plains for a while then stop to rest.  As they sit resting, Josephine looks into Wyatt’s eyes and asked, “Are you happy?”  He responds, with a snort, “What kind of a question is that?” 

I think that is one of the questions we all ask of ourselves and to those we care about in life.  So, let me ask you – are YOU happy?  What would make you happy? 

Martin Seligman, known as the founder of positive psychology, in his work entitled Authentic Happiness: Using Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, offers his thoughts on eight factors of happiness.

                        Money – materialistic people are not happy.

                        Marriage – married people are happier than single individuals.

                        Sociability – happy people tend to lead a “rich and fulfilling social life.”

                        Gender – “Women are both sadder and happier than men.” (what?! J )

Religion – “Religious people are consistently shown to be happier and satisfied with life   than nonreligious…”

Illness – “Illness does not affect satisfaction or happiness…”

Climate – climate has no effect  on happiness

All the above factors account for 8 to 15 percent of our happiness.  What makes up the other 85 to 92 percent?  According to Seligman, it is

Character! -  “happiness has little to do with pleasure, and much to do with developing personal strengths and character.”

Character is made up of universal virtues found in every culture past and present – and I might add, future!  Character includes the qualities of wisdom, knowledge, courage, love, humility, and spirituality.  We achieve these characteristics cultivating and nurturing personal strengths such as valor, integrity, sharing, kindness, sacrifice, and patience.

The apostle Paul says this about character development:

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.   And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5.3-5, NIV).



Out of control!

Two confessions:  One.  I’m a bit of a control freak.  (Many of you who know me are saying, “Seriously?!!?” and laughing.)  Two, I get a little ‘tweaked’ when I acknowledge that I am not in control of many of the circumstances I experience in life.  When I get out of the “driver’s seat” and turn over control to someone else, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and, yes, frightened.   My typical response when asked to “slide over,” is “What??!!!??”  

Am I the only one with this problem or are you with me in this? 

So, here’s the truth we must embrace and accept:  We can’t control our circumstances.  The only thing we can control is how we respond to our circumstances!

This morning when I read Mary’s story in the Gospel of Luke 1.26-56, I was amazed at her trust in God and His word! 

Mary was a teenager when the angel Gabriel told her to get out of the driver’s seat because God was going to do an amazing thing with and through her. 

“Slide over, Mary.  You will conceive and give birth to a son .. a son conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit.” 

What!!???!!

She found herself pregnant even though she was a virgin! 

What??!!??

She experienced the disappointment, dismay and disbelief of her family, friends, and fiancé.

What??!!??

This child whom the angels told her would be “holy and called the Son of God.” 

What??!!??

She would find herself in a smelly stable giving birth to this “Son of God, Son of the Most High”! 

What??!!??

What control did Mary have over her circumstances?  None.  She could not control God’s plan to send a Savior for all of humanity.  She could not control her financial poverty.  She could not control her family’s response to her “unexpected pregnancy.”  She could not control Joseph’s response to her apparent “disgrace.” 

In the midst of her circumstances, Mary held tight to the promises of God she received through the angel Gabriel.  She found serenity and gave birth to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

When life seems out of control and we want to shout, “What!!??!!,”  we need to find serenity by holding tightly to God’s promises found in His word.  When we do this, we, too, will find serenity “in the passenger’s seat!”  

Leftovers

A long time ago, I used a team of horses pulling a wagon piled high with hay to feed cattle during the winter months in Montana.  The two horses were named Tiny and Tom.  Tom weighed 2,005 pounds and Tiny weighed in at an even 2,000.   Every winter morning, I would roll out of bed about 4am and stumble out to the horse barn to get them ready for the day with several pounds of rolled oats and ½ bale of grass hay each.   You know what happens to that much roughage, don’t you?  About every three to four weeks, I would shovel the “leftovers” out the door into a large pile!

There is one lesson I learned from all this – stables stink! 

Luke 2.6&7 –And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

    

Jesus was born in a stable.  Historians tell us that the stable was not like what we see on our Christmas cards!  It was probably more like a cave – dark, damp, and filled with the stench of “leftovers.”  It was in the midst of all of this that Jesus came to us. 

He comes to us in the same way today.  He comes in the midst of the “darkness and stench” of our lives.  He doesn’t wait until we get “cleaned up.”    

Here’s an amazing truth.  It is when we turn our lives over to God that the real “house cleaning” begins!! 

Merry Christmas!

Walk the Line

Just recently Dawn and I watched Walk the Line – the Johnny Cash story.  (Great movie, I might add!) 

                                                                                                                                                   

Toward the end of the movie we are invited to Thanksgiving dinner at Johnny’s new house with his mother and father along with the parents of June Carter.  Johnny, who has been sober for a short while, relapses. 

At the dinner table with an intoxicated Johnny, we learn that the death of his older brother in a terrible saw mill accident was at the core of Johnny’s drinking problem.  Most alcoholics/addict self-medicate to relieve some form of pain of the past. 

We also learn that this same incident was at the core of the father’s sobriety!  Most alcoholics/addicts have to “bottom out” before they will acknowledge that their life is out of control and decide to do something about getting their life back!

I find it very interesting how the perception of one event can deeply WOUND one person and cause another one to WAKE UP. 

We all experience “triggers” in life – those people, circumstances, words, things that create a response within our souls.  When we experience a “trigger,” it creates a thought.  That thought then creates an emotion.  The emotion manifests itself in a behavioral response. 

The key to change is NOT changing our circumstances or how “we feel” about our circumstances or other “triggers.”  The way to change our behavior is to change the way we think.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think (Romans 12.2/NLT)

Thanks for your patience

I viewed my blog about patience and discovered the cartoon I referenced was not included in the post. 

So.. thanks for your patience...

here it is...

Urban Animals

Nearly every morning Dawn and I walk to Lion’s Park and around the lake.  As we enter the park, we are usually greeted by urban animals – squirrels, crows, and ducks seeking a handout – usually in the form of peanuts in the shell – from humans.    

These urban animals have acquired two characteristics that set them apart from those of their species outside of the park.  They have become dependent and weak. 

They are dependent in that they no longer seek nourishment other than that that is handed to them. 

They are weak because they no longer have the “umph” to forage their own.  It seems they would much rather hang out around the lake waiting for a handout than trying to meet their needs.  And when a passing human does not give a generous handout, the urban animals become defiant and somewhat aggressive.  Crows swoop down on those passing by; squirrels line the walkways and squawk their disapproval; ducks crowd the walkways and quack their indignation. 

As I watch these urban animals, I shake my head. Not only do I see dependent and weak animals, I see “us!”  Have we become “dependent” and “weak”?  Would we rather sit around waiting for a handout than do the hard work of trying to meet our own needs?  Have we become “urban animals”? 

Urban animals attend church but never study the Bible on their own.  Urban animals preach from behind a protected pulpit squawking their opinion without doing the hard work of studying the word of God.  Urban animals sit around quacking their indignation on a plethora of subjects and do nothing but make a lot of noise.  Urban animals fill our rehab centers.  Urban animals populate our welfare rolls.   

Well known psychologist Viktor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning) was fond of saying that a Statue of Responsibility should be erected on the West coast of American to complement the Statue of Liberty on the East. 

Yes.   Every individual has the right to food, shelter, clothing, health care, etc.  AND…AND…every individual also has a responsibility to try to meet their own needs.  The urban animals need to quit expecting a handout! 

The apostle Paul puts it this way ….

 

1 Thessalonians 5:14 -- Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy.

2 Thessalonians 3:10 --Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”

Tough Patience

I was a runner for 23 years.  My athletic claim to fame is that I was the oldest NAIA Division II athlete to letter in cross country when I attended the University of Sioux Falls!  My most enjoyable run was the Lincoln ½ marathon with Thomas and Kristi Beyer to celebrate Kristi’s 40^th birthday!    

As a distance runner, I understand the term “run with endurance” in Hebrews 12.1 (NLT) --  

And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

The term I DON’T understand is found in the King James translation of this verse –

… and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

When I think of doing something with patience, I think of “non-activity” – like waiting, sitting still, counting to 10, etc.  And there is no question in my mind that the patience of “non-activity” takes tremendous strength.  (If you doubt that, trying being still the next time someone cuts you off in traffic!)

This cartoon illustrates well what most think of when they hear the word “patience” –

               

The question I asked myself was “how does one run with patience”?   As I struggled to understand this phrase, I realized that the patience that runs takes greater strength than the patience of non-activity.   

 When we run with patience the race that is set before us, we run with—

                the strength to continue working after a setback

                                the strength to go about daily life with deep sorrow in our hearts

the strength keep running the race God has set before us in the midst of uncertainty

the strength to keep moving forward in the midst of the mundane

the strength to continue to trust God regardless of our challenging circumstances

                the strength stay clean and sober

Here’s where running with patience gets really tough.  We patiently run the race in our workplace, while shopping, during social events, while serving others, and at church.

And here’s where running with patience becomes do-able.  God is running the race with us!  We are never alone.  When our strength is depleted, His takes over!    

                Even youths will become weak and tired,
                                and young men will fall in exhaustion.
                But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
                                They will soar high on wings like eagles.
                They will run and not grow weary.
                                They will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:30-31)

Road to Nowhere

I attend Element Church here in Cheyenne.  Quite often I am overwhelmed at the sense of God’s presence.  I am continually amazed each Sunday as individuals find new life in Christ! 

However, I quite often feel like I don’t “fit” at Element.  There are several reasons why:  I don’t shave my head.  I don’t wear Toms or Converse.  I don’t wear jeans with holes in the knees.  I don’t have a tattoo.  I’m over 40 (by a long way) AND…. I like Country Music! 

One of my favorite country songs is “Nowhere Road” by Waylon and Willie.  They sing about a road that leads to nowhere –

 I’ve been down this road just searching for the end;

and it don’t go nowhere, it just brings you back again. 

Leaves you lonely and cold, standing on the shoulder,

but you’ve come too far to go back home

so you’re walking on a nowhere road.

I remember all too well the years I spent on that nowhere road.  Have you been there?  Are you there now?  No matter how long you’ve been walking the nowhere road or how far from home you feel you’ve traveled, God has provided a way back –  

And a great road will go through that once deserted land.
      It will be named the Highway of Holiness.
   Evil-minded people will never travel on it.
      It will be only for those who walk in God’s ways;
      fools will never walk there. (Isaiah 35.8 – NLT)

The Highway of Holiness leads you back home.

Victory

My father-in-law calls me a workaholic.  Others call me focused.  Still others label me as being single-minded.  The reason for the labels is that all my life I’ve had an intense desire to finish what I start.

When I was 13 years old, I worked at the stockyards in Lewistown, Montana.  My first job assignment was to clean the pens being used to fatten pigs for slaughter.  I never imagined how much waste pigs could generate in a week’s time!   After several weeks of shoveling pig “stuff” for four hours after school, I was ready to quit.  But I couldn’t!  I couldn’t quit.  I had started the job and I was going to do it and do it well – or “finish strong” as some would say.

Nearly 30 years ago, I attempted to climb Twin Mountain just west of Cheyenne.  It is the highest point between Cheyenne and Laramie with an elevation of nearly 9,000’.  I failed in my attempt to reach the top as a severe storm rolled through southeast Wyoming with dangerous lightning dancing all around.

I didn’t finish what I had started!! 

On October 14, 2011, I finished what I had started.  A beautiful fall day, an early start, two bottles of water, two Mojo bars, and “an intense desire to finish what I had started” led me to the top of Twin Mountain! 

He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights. Psalm 18:33

A powerful life lesson can be gleaned from this experience: 

 Never give up on finishing what you start regardless of the obstacles or delays you encounter.

A lesson to those of us in recovery:

Recovery is a journey.  It’s a hard climb.  There will be ups and downs.  There will be setbacks, disappointments, and delays.  Yet, in the face of overwhelming obstacles, we cannot give up!  Never, ever stop trying to finish what we started – living a clean and sober life!!   

Highway 59

Stretching across the high plains of Wyoming between Gillette and Douglas is 120 miles of pavement known as Highway 59.  http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl  As far as I know, it has never been considered a “scenic highway.” 

I traveled Highway 59 on Sunday, October 9^th – twice!  I traveled north to Gillette with a pickup packed with Wendy’s possessions.  After emptying my pickup of boxes; small appliances; and a dresser, I traveled south toward Douglas and Cheyenne with a full load of alone-ness!

Dawn had left the day before as a “designated driver” for her parents on a sixteen day trip through Minnesota, Nebraska, and Iowa.  A few hours before, Wendy had completed her move to her new home. 

South of Bill, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill,_Wyoming, the cab of my pickup was filled with darkness. The darkness of feeling alone.  That feeling only a husband can feel when he knows he won’t touch or see his wife for an extended period of time.  That feeling that only a dad can have when he realizes his “little girl” is now a young lady and her heart truly belongs to someone else! 

As I traveled south with the clouds building in my heart, I topped a hill and was overwhelmed at the sight before me!  My words cannot describe the beauty of what was in front of me.  Please use your imagination as I attempt to describe what I experienced:  I could see for miles.  The Medicine Bow Mountains and Laramie Peak formed the distant horizon.  The foreground was the North Platte River with its banks clothed with fall colors.  A gaggle of Canadian geese soared across my line of sight.  Snow clouds hugged Laramie Peak and huddled over the rest of the Medicine Bow range. 

It was a moment I cannot describe.  It was a moment I will never forget.  It was a moment when God spoke into my heart and said,

 You’re NOT alone!

I am right here with you! 

I will watch over your girls! 

Both now and forever!    

Your faithfulness extends to every generation, as enduring as the earth you created (Psalm 119.90)

Mighty Warrior! Really?

God spoke to the prophet Isaiah saying, I have called mighty warriors to express my anger, and they will rejoice when I am exalted (13.3). 

I’m certain that the destruction caused by addiction makes God angry.  I’m also certain I have been called to express that anger to those in the bondage of addiction. 

Expressing God’s anger to addicts does not mean beating ‘em up with a Bible. 

It means quietly telling them what ticks God off and how to fix it!

It means offering them new life in Christ and showing them a different way to live life.

It means challenging people to become who they need to be to experience life to its fullest in Christ.

However, I’m not so certain that I am a “mighty warrior.”

Surprised

Some call me old fashioned, a hick, "old school," or "too country."  I'm ok with all that 'cause that's what I am!

I embrace today's technology visiting Facebook, email, and posting a blog now and then.  But what I really enjoy is "snail mail."  You know, the stuff you get in a mailbox with someone's hand writing on the front of the envelope.  Something almost mystical about opening the mailbox to discover a hand written note from a friend or family member. 

Last week I received a note in my mailbox that filled my heart and soul with joy.  When I read "between the lines," what I read was "We believe in you and what you're doing!"  

And it amazes me how God's timing on things like that are always perfect!  

I thank God for His providential grace and for two outspoken members of my family.   

Resting

After a couple of tough months, Dawn and I went to "my mountain" to catch a breath of fresh air.  We both enjoyed the changing colors we encountered but were blown away at the site of a large bull elk and twelve of his lady friends.  Dawn got some great pictures while I was so excited I took several with very limited quality!  This one I'm pleased with....

Great Opportunity

I believe God always provides opportunities for us to grow and fulfill His purpose for our lives.  He won't force them on us; we have to respond to what He provides. 

I did a "walk about" of Cheyenne a few weeks back.  My purpose in doing a "walk about" was to introduce myself and learn more about how one would go about getting into a rehab center in this area.  I hit the usual places -- the local hospital, police station, sheriff's office, and Peak Wellness. 

Peak Wellness is the primary provider for learning how to live sober.  I learned they don't discourage a spiritual element in recovery but they do not encourage it either. 

After sharing my story with the Director and meeting with the chairman of the Board, I was invited to join the Board of Directors for Peak Wellness. 

This is a great opportunity for me to introduce Remedy to the local "addict" community.  As a Board member I have the opportunity to visit the detox center as well as the transition homes here in southeast Wyoming! 

No city lights or noise

These two readings from the devotional, Streams in the Desert, spoke to me…

“God trains his soldiers not I tents of ease and luxury but by causing them to endure lengthy marches and difficult service.  He makes them wade across streams, swim through rivers, climb mountains, and walk many miles with heavy backpacks.”  [April 10]

“Our souls must have times of fellowship with Him on the mountain and experience valleys of quiet rest in the shadow of a great rock.  We must spend some nights beneath the stars, when darkness has covered the things of earth, silenced the noise of human life, and expanded our view, revealing the infinite and the eternal.  All these are as absolutely essential as food is for our bodies.”  [April 11]