A Powerful Wimp

Our overall theme of the night was Experiencing and Embracing becoming a “new person” through the process of refinement. 

In my opinion, last night’s lesson was one of those that if you “get it,” you get it.  And if you don’t, well, you’ll continue to struggle until you do “get it.” 

We worked through the “Diary of a Wimpy Apostle” in 2Corthians 12.1-10

In verse 7, Paul states he was “given a thorn.”   What was Paul’s thorn?  No one knows but hundreds of people have tried to figure it out. 

All of us have been given a “thorn” – our addiction.  

Is addiction choice, genetic, or psychological?  Yes – it is.  All three.  Some addicts have made some very poor choices.  Other addicts have psychological problems that must be addressed.  Others are genetically disposed to become an addict.   Some may be predisposed; no one is predetermined to remain an addict! 

Why was Paul given his “thorn”?  To keep him from becoming proud. 

2 Corinthians 11 and the first part of 12 record all of Paul’s trials that he endured; amazing revelations he had,  and spiritual experiences he encountered that were beyond description.  Based on all the trials he encountered, it would have been easy for Paul to slip into an “I deserve better than this” mode.  Or to go another direction and say “Look at me – I did all this – what wonderful things I’ve accomplished – on my own.”  But his “thorn” kept him grounded; recognizing that He could accomplish NOTHING on his own.

In verse 8 Paul states that he begged the Lord three times to take it [the thorn] away.  When I first read that, I called Paul a “Wimp.”  I cried out more than three times a day for months asking God to take away my addiction.  Every addict I know of has cried out, “Take this away.”  

Every time Paul cried out he got the same answer (v. 9) – “My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.”

Paul then goes on to say he boasts about his weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through him.  Then he lists a bunch of reasons for most addicts to relapse!  J

He concludes these two chapters by stating, “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

This is one of the life lessons that if you “get it,” you “get it.”  If you don’t, you’ll continue to struggle.  You have to surrender your entire body, soul, and spirit to Christ.  For when YOU are weak, then YOU are strong. 

Most of us have to get rid of our victim mentality.  At some point in everyone’s life they’ve been told “no,” been disappointed, discouraged, hurt, wounded, emotionally scared.  And you didn’t deserve it… no one does.  But to choose to live there is a really bad choice on your part.  Can you move beyond the hurt?  No… YOU can’t or you would have already!  Remember, Christ’s power works best in weakness.  “I can’t but with Your power, I can.”

You can’t stay clean and sober on your own!  Whether you’re predisposed, have psychological issues or have made some really bad choices, you can’t stay clean on your own.  When you admit you are weak then you become strong and through the power of Christ, you can stay clean and sober. 

When you are weak – when you admit that incredible fact and apply to every aspect of your life – relationships , marriage, character development – Jesus has the grace and the power to change you from the inside out and to change the way you live life! 

Stinkin Thinkin

Our overall theme for this meeting was:  Experiencing Being accountable to a “new” family [Ephesians 4.1-6].

Substance abuse professionals and psychologists have created what I call the “top ten list of stinkin’ thinkin’ of a person actively using or in the early stages of recovery.”  (handout of “top ten” available upon request)

Those same professionals suggest that nearly 90% of us are prone to “all or nothing” thinking. 

 All or nothing thinking: We engage in all-or-nothing thinking when we accept thoughts which describe events in black-and-white categories, with no shades of gray. It is a more extreme form of magnification and minimization in which we minimize to the point that many positive aspects of life completely disappear from sight. Such thoughts lead to a kind of perfectionism that defines everything short of 100% success as a failure. To a point, such perfectionism can lead us to try harder; but in the long run, inevitably, it tends to discourage us from trying at all. Since we encounter very little black or white in the real world, this kind of thinking squeezes much of the brightness out of our view of the world: all the shades of gray come to look as black as night.

Let’s look at Hebrews 10.11-25 to discover what the Bible has to say about “all or nothing” thinking. 

v.14 -- Flies in the face of “all or nothing” thinking!  It states that our new life in Christ is a process!   We must adhere to a “Progress not Perfection!” mindset.   Part of what it means to be human is to make mistakes.  We all make mistakes in life and in the process of recovery!  Not a one of us is perfect nor will we ever be!  It doesn’t mean we don’t strive to be better, it means we know we need to continually strive to become better!  If we stumble and fall, we don’t give up; we get up!  If we succeed 51% of the time; we celebrate our victories!  If we mess up it doesn’t mean we are worthless, dumb, and a loser!  It simply reinforces the fact we all HUMAN!! 

It is my opinion that the antidote to ‘StinkinThinkin’ is a vegan diet.

It is a little known fact that the writer of Hebrews penned the first vegan diet in human history.  It’s true.  Check it out.  v. 22-25  instruct us to live a life filled with “lettuce.” 

v. 22 – “let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting Him.” We have full assurance of our salvation

v. 23 – “let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm …” We have hope for the future

v. 24 – “let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” We can count on the encouragement from a ‘new family.’

v. 25 – “let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another…” No one can stand alone for long on the journey.  If we run from healthy relationships, we are running straight toward a painful relapse.

That’s a lot of lettuce!  Pretty healthy way to live, huh?  Paul McCartney was quoted a couple years ago as saying, “If everyone would adhere to a vegan diet, we could save the planet.”

 I believe it’s true.  If we all adhered to a vegan diet, we could change the world!  The vegan diet listed in the Bible! 

After the lesson, we broke up into small groups to decide on action steps we could and will take to correct our “stinkin’ thinkin’.” 

1.       Read and live out Philippians 4.8

2.       Start each day with reading the Word

3.       Encourage one another via personal contact, phone, text, or email

4.       Invite people who are struggling to Remedy

5.       Listen to AirOne (88.1) or KLOVE to fill our hearts and minds with good, positive music.

skunks and roses

Last night (April 12^th) at Remedy we examined our hearts and talked about “skunks and roses.”  

Our main Scripture was Matthew 15.1-20. 

When questioned about why His disciples didn’t wash their hands before eating, Jesus’ response can be summarized by stating, “Righteousness is not appearing as righteous through external religious practices; it is a matter of the heart.” 

Jesus then goes on to say that it’s not what’s on the outside that defiles you; it’s what on the inside – in your heart. 

Blackaby wrote in Experiencing God, “The Bible stresses that what you say is an accurate indicator of what is in your heart.” 

We watched a clip from Man without a Face depicting a family feud that started with a simple question and ended up in a contest of who could yell the loudest using the most hurtful words.  We all agreed we had been in situations exactly like that – with family, friends, and fellow employees.  The process goes something like this:

Someone says something, we react, they react, the tension increases, somebody says something else, we respond, they react, we react… tension increases, the “pressure of the moment” escalates … and, boom, hurtful words come pouring out and souls are scared.  And when some sense of calm is restored, we truly regret saying the things we did – we say we didn’t mean them.

However, psychologist tells us, “yes we did mean them – if only for that brief moment.”  What you say is an accurate indicator of the condition of your heart. 

How’s your heart?  

It was then suggested that maybe what we’ve experienced are words of condemnation from a parent, boss or friend that cut like a knife.   Our response is not to lash out but to remove ourselves from the situation -- to isolate ourselves.   And it’s in that isolation that we place the cone of shame on ourselves and tell ourselves we are worthless; we have feelings of self-loathing; thoughts of self-destruction; and our heart is filled with feelings of nothingness.

 

Either response – reaction or removal – Jesus says is a ‘heart disease.’ 

So, how’s your heart?  Do you need a transplant? 

You are responsible for your own heart health. 

Let’s take a look at “your words” and “their words.”

 

YOUR WORDS: Paul writes this in Ephesians 4.25a & 29, “So stop telling lies.  Don’t use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” 

THEIR WORDS:  Some people may look down on you and criticize you for your need for recovery.  They may assume a “self-righteous” posture and often speak words of judgment or condemnation.  If you have accepted Jesus into your heart and are humbly trying to recover, God is pleased with you – no matter what others may say!  In your heart you know you are striving to become a fully functioning human being through the implantation of Christ! 

 

You cannot control the words or actions of others.  The only thing you can control is your response to them. 

And do you know when what is in your heart is most obvious?  When the pressure is on! 

If you place a rose under pressure, the fragrance released is enhanced. 

If you place pressure on a skunk, the fragrance released is repulsive.

So, when you’re under pressure, when the tension is high, when the hurtful words are being thrown about, are you a rose or a skunk?  

Action Point:

Respond in a Christ-like manner rather than react.  (A great group discussion on how to respond in a Christ-like manner followed this part of the teaching.)

God gave us all a brain and the fruit of the spirit self-control… we need to use those two wonderful gifts to empower us to stop and think about the words we speak.

EEF - Progressive Conservative Movement

I’ve learned two things about myself in the past few months.  One, I can honestly say I’m a progressive conservative.  In case you need clarification, that means I realize that something in our nation has to change; that we need to help those in need; that we, as Christians, have a responsibility to help those less fortunate than ourselves.  I also realize that we have to quit spending more money than we take in – on a personal level and as a nation! 

Secondly, I realize I’ve been watching too much CNN and Fox News.  Seeing all the protestors promoting their cause has created a desire within me to start ANOTHER cause – EEF.  I’ve got the cause figured out – that wrong I want to see corrected in our country – now I need to find a rich person who insists on remaining anonymous to fund my cause.  George Soros is already taken (http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=47009) and is busy running the White House, so I guess I’ll have to find someone else!  If you have anyone in mind, please let me know! 

My plans include making a poster and parading around the capital building here in Cheyenne.  If there’s anything left of my poster after being battered about by the wind, I could possibly drive to Pierre, South Dakota and protest a couple of days there.  I’ll be sure to take my tent and sleeping bag with me as I can’t afford to stay in a motel (unless I find that rich person!).  I’m sure there is a park in Pierre I can pitch my tent in for a couple of days.  Then, if my poster is still legible, I could make a trip to Helena, Montana.  (I like Montana this time of year so that would be a good choice.  Maybe on the way to Helena I could stop and see my good friends in Huntley and take a shower – probably a good plan.) 

And, who knows, if I get enough press coverage, this cause could spread throughout the United States! 

OH! 

EEF stands for End Entitlement Fraud!  The government could save billions if Congress would be sympathetic to my cause and pass legislation implementing strict regulations and insist on strict enforcement of those regulations!  

Here’s a couple of changes my cause would promote:

 Any single mom living with a male partner would not be entitled to the free child care, medical care, and tuition given to single moms busting their butts to make it on their own. 

Unemployment benefits would be limited to 120 days and would only be paid to individuals seriously seeking employment rather than an easy “high.”

Individuals receiving benefits who smoke would have the cost of cigarettes deducted from their payment based on a pack a day. 

Random drug testing would be mandatory for everyone receiving welfare or unemployment.  Not just when they apply but continuously!    

Ok, Kool-Aid drinkers, I can hear your whining about my cause already.  “It’ll hurt the children” you say.   Do you really think a druggie or boozer spends their money on food and clothing for their children before their substance of choice?   Do you really believe a smoker will spend the $35 a week needed for cigarettes on food and clothing for their kids before they get their “fix”? And what about those losers who are selling their food stamps to finance their habit?  Is that helping the children?  If you think so, you better check the ingredients in your Kool-Aid! 

An added benefit of EEF would be that Congress wouldn’t have to cut EARNED BENEFITS from Social Security recipients and veterans to pay for the free loaders working the entitlement system. 

Are you with me?  WHAT!??!  You have to work?  Ok.  Well, I guess I’ll have to do this on my own then.  I’ll blog later to let you know how it’s going. 

Cone of Shame

Our overall theme for the gathering was experiencing the love of Christ, a love that is so great it cannot be explained only experienced.

One of the stars of the movie “Up” created a national phenomenon when he stated, “I do not like the cone of shame.”   Almost immediately after the movie’s release, t-shirts, bumper stickers, and a variety of products were sold depicting the fad phrase, “I do not like the cone of shame.” 

Frankly, no one likes nor should anyone wear the cone of shame. 

Shame has captured the hearts of numerous individuals – addicts and normies – keeping them from becoming all God intends for them to be.  Shame tells people they are worthless, it creates feelings of self-loathing and thoughts of self-destruction, and it freezes the heart with feelings of nothingness. 

The cone of shame is not a natural occurring feeling.  The cone of shame is a distortion of guilt and has its origin is in the words and actions of others.  

According to several on-line sources, there is a very distinct difference between guilt and shame.

Guilt says I've done something wrong; shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what I did was not good; shame says I am no good." Bradshaw (1988). (you can request the entire hand-out if you so desire – just drop me an email.)

You can say that shame is the equivalent to the feeling of condemnation.

There’s a story in the Bible about a young lady who made a lifestyle choice which, according to the Law of the OT, was punishable by being stoned to death; certainly seen by the religious leaders of the day as worthy of the cone of shame.  

John 8.1-11.  v.1-6 – The “teachers and Pharisees” were individuals in positions of power.  In these verses we witness an attempt by them to shame the young lady (where was the man?); to control Jesus (“in order to have a basis for accusing him”); and attempt to control the crowds (making the woman stand before the group was like a “word of warning”).   In my opinion, these leaders had “issues” and were full of deceit and manipulation.  People in positions of authority can abuse their power by trying to place the cone of shame on others in an attempt to control them. 

In our lives we may have experienced individuals in positions of power (parents; preachers; church-goers) attempt to control us by placing the cone of shame on us. 

v.7-9 – No one knows what “dirty words” Jesus wrote in the dirt.  We DO know that whatever it was, it convicted every one of the “stoners!”  Not a one of them was without sin and therefore unable to cast the first stone.

If we are honest with ourselves, we will admit that we have a tendency to think we can “cast the first stone” and place the cone of shame on others.

There are two words with the same root word that can prevent us from attempting to place the cone of shame on others. 

Human and humility have the same root word: humus.  Humus is better known in this part of the country as black, rich top soil.  

Humility means to have a down-to-earth understanding of who we are.  To be humble means not to compare!  The ground is level at the foot of the cross!  We all come seeking a Savior; seeking atonement.  Not a one of us is perfect; we’ve all made mistakes; we’ve all messed up. 

We are all human beings and mistakes are part of being human. We all make them.  Paul writes in Ephesians 2.10 that we are God’s masterpiece – that’s every one of us.  That means that neither you nor anyone else is a “mistake” and deserves to wear the cone of shame.  We are all a work in progress.  And, thankfully, God isn’t done with us yet!  He has planted His word in the soil of our soul and by His grace continues to cultivate it empowering you and I to become what He intends for us to be.  Amazing love; amazing grace.

v. 10-11.  Jesus states, “I don’t condemn you.” I’ll paraphrase His statement by stating, “You don’t need to wear the cone of shame.”  Jesus doesn’t condone her behavior nor does he place the cone of shame on her.   He does not condemn her but He tells her to “go and sin no more.” 

Maybe you, like the young lady, have done something in your past that you yourself believe is worthy of the cone of shame or perhaps someone in your life – a parent, peer – has placed the cone of shame on you.  YOU do not need to wear the cone of shame!   Jesus doesn’t condemn you!!  Jesus didn’t give you the cone of shame, but he can certainly remove it!    He removed it on the cross.  Amazing love, amazing grace!