skunks and roses

Last night (April 12^th) at Remedy we examined our hearts and talked about “skunks and roses.”  

Our main Scripture was Matthew 15.1-20. 

When questioned about why His disciples didn’t wash their hands before eating, Jesus’ response can be summarized by stating, “Righteousness is not appearing as righteous through external religious practices; it is a matter of the heart.” 

Jesus then goes on to say that it’s not what’s on the outside that defiles you; it’s what on the inside – in your heart. 

Blackaby wrote in Experiencing God, “The Bible stresses that what you say is an accurate indicator of what is in your heart.” 

We watched a clip from Man without a Face depicting a family feud that started with a simple question and ended up in a contest of who could yell the loudest using the most hurtful words.  We all agreed we had been in situations exactly like that – with family, friends, and fellow employees.  The process goes something like this:

Someone says something, we react, they react, the tension increases, somebody says something else, we respond, they react, we react… tension increases, the “pressure of the moment” escalates … and, boom, hurtful words come pouring out and souls are scared.  And when some sense of calm is restored, we truly regret saying the things we did – we say we didn’t mean them.

However, psychologist tells us, “yes we did mean them – if only for that brief moment.”  What you say is an accurate indicator of the condition of your heart. 

How’s your heart?  

It was then suggested that maybe what we’ve experienced are words of condemnation from a parent, boss or friend that cut like a knife.   Our response is not to lash out but to remove ourselves from the situation -- to isolate ourselves.   And it’s in that isolation that we place the cone of shame on ourselves and tell ourselves we are worthless; we have feelings of self-loathing; thoughts of self-destruction; and our heart is filled with feelings of nothingness.

 

Either response – reaction or removal – Jesus says is a ‘heart disease.’ 

So, how’s your heart?  Do you need a transplant? 

You are responsible for your own heart health. 

Let’s take a look at “your words” and “their words.”

 

YOUR WORDS: Paul writes this in Ephesians 4.25a & 29, “So stop telling lies.  Don’t use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” 

THEIR WORDS:  Some people may look down on you and criticize you for your need for recovery.  They may assume a “self-righteous” posture and often speak words of judgment or condemnation.  If you have accepted Jesus into your heart and are humbly trying to recover, God is pleased with you – no matter what others may say!  In your heart you know you are striving to become a fully functioning human being through the implantation of Christ! 

 

You cannot control the words or actions of others.  The only thing you can control is your response to them. 

And do you know when what is in your heart is most obvious?  When the pressure is on! 

If you place a rose under pressure, the fragrance released is enhanced. 

If you place pressure on a skunk, the fragrance released is repulsive.

So, when you’re under pressure, when the tension is high, when the hurtful words are being thrown about, are you a rose or a skunk?  

Action Point:

Respond in a Christ-like manner rather than react.  (A great group discussion on how to respond in a Christ-like manner followed this part of the teaching.)

God gave us all a brain and the fruit of the spirit self-control… we need to use those two wonderful gifts to empower us to stop and think about the words we speak.