Forgiving Others

It was a hard night at Remedy.  I don’t know about you but these last three sessions opened some wounds I thought were healed!  Obviously, though, they weren’t and needed to be opened to God’s healing touch. 

 Each of you in attendance was given the work sheets from the last three sessions.  I strongly encourage you to prayerfully and carefully work through each one.  If you find that you need someone to help you process your thoughts and emotions, please don’t hesitate to give me a call.  (Unless it’s 2.00 in the morning so I probably won’t hear my phone!  HaHa.  Boy, I’ll never live that one down!) 

 Last night, March 8^th, we visited the issue of FORGIVING OTHERS!  Our primary Scripture was The Lord’s Prayer in Luke 11.1-4.  In that bold prayer, we read the words : “… and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”

How do we forgive those who have sinned against us? 

1.        Get rid of the phrase, “I can’t.”  We can because we are empowered by the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 1.19&20)

2.       Forgiveness is the opposite of revenge.  (Romans 12.19-21)

3.       Forgiveness is obstructed by resentment (also known as bitterness).   There’s a startling statement in AA’s Big Book.  It reads, Resentment is the #1 offender.  It destroys more alcoholics [addicts] than anything else.  From resentment stems all forms of spiritual diseases.   Resentment literally means, feeling backward.  Resentment goes over and over and over an old injury – revisiting the powerlessness, the rage, the anger, the feelings of being wronged! 

4.       Forgiveness is not forgetting.  (Ephesians 4.32.)  We are to forgive one another just as God through Christ forgave us.  God is Omniscient. That means God has perfect knowledge of the past, present and future.  Therefore, it is impossible for God to forget.  God forgives us by choosing not to use our sins against us.  Forgiveness of others is choosing to let go and not hold an offense against someone.

This seems to contradict what Paul states in Philippians 3.13 where he wrote “forgetting the past.” Miles is correct in saying we can’t forget the past because our past makes us who we are today.   That is a whole different issue than forgiving ourselves for past mistakes.  If we don’t get rid of the baggage of the past, it will drag us down and limit our ability to become all God intends us to be.  “Forgetting the past”  is a choice not to use our past against ourselves by letting go of the guilt and shame (aka baggage)of the past.  Holding on to the baggage of the past imprisons us in the “Can’t.”   “God can’t use me; I can’t because…”  Forgiveness of self then is choosing to let go and not hold an offense against ourselves! It’s throwing the Invisible Ball Bat out the door!  

5.       Forgiveness is not excusing the offense.  Forgiveness does not remove responsibility for their actions – or ours!  Excusing the offense devalues the one we are supposed to be forgiving implying they are not responsible for their choices!

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.  

 – Lewis B. Smedes

Let go of the wire! 

From T.D. Jakes, Let it Go: Forgive so You Can be Forgiven

 “Unforgiveness denies the victim the possibility of parole and leaves them stuck in the prison of what was, incarcerating them in their trauma and relinquishing the chance to escape beyond the pain.” (p. 19)

 “Sometimes you must write off the past so that you are available for the future. Whatever is back there, write it off!” (p.117)

 Writing if off doesn’t mean that you didn’t gain anything from the experience. 

 Writing if off doesn’t suggest that you weren’t right about the abusive circumstances that led to the unforgiveness.  It simply means you have too much ahead of you to expend more energy looking back.

Writing it off doesn’t mean you are weak.  It takes a great deal of strength, hope, and faith to move beyond the breach.

Writing if off doesn’t mean you won’t be compensated by some other opportunity ahead of you.  Many times God compensates us with divine favor to balance our lives beyond what has been done to us by others.

Writing it off helps you gain a glimpse into what God does for us with our own sin.  We had a debt we couldn’t pay.  God received payment from an outside source (Jesus Christ) and wrote if off even though we ourselves never made recompense for our transgressions. 

Ø  based on T.D. Jake, Let it Go – p. 118