Sad but Glad

The overall theme for the evening was Experiencing Being accountable to a “new” family [Ephesians 4.1-6].  Being accountable to a new family by being honest with self, others, and God.

(A workbook listing several character qualities was distributed to all Remedy participants to assist them in completing an “honest and thorough moral inventory.”)

The journey of recovery is a tough road.  It is full of obstacles and challenges we would rather avoid or somehow simply skip over them.

But then, our journey wouldn’t be about learning to live life differently.  It would be about remaining in denial and insanity.  Denying we have “issues” and doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. 

This part of the journey is hard.  It will require close self-examination and honesty with God and yourself.

Most of us cringe at the thought of taking an honest look at ourselves because we know there is pain, bitterness, sadness, and most likely some tears involved in this part of the journey. 

The reason for this part of the journey is not to discover how good or bad you are and regain some moral ground.   It is to begin the process of being honest with yourself.  While it’s true that “the truth will set you free” (John 8.32) it often makes you very uncomfortable first! 

Nehemiah 8. 1-12. 

Background: The Jews had returned from 70 years of foreign captivity in Babylon. While they were in Babylon, the Jews were not able to practice their religion. In fact, for the most part, they did not have access to the Law of God. For most of the captives, whatever they knew of their faith came from memory or the memories of others. By the end of the 70 years, they had forgotten far more than they remembered about God and how to live a God-centered life.

Some of us have experienced what I would call “spiritual exile.”  We wandered away from our spiritual roots and have “forgotten more than we remembered.”  Others have simply never heard the Good News of Jesus.  I existed for nearly 40 years without the Bible being an important part of my life.  … literally in spiritual exile. 

After having rebuilt the Temple and having just completed re-building the wall around Jerusalem so that they might enjoy security from their enemies, Ezra the priestly scribe believed it was time to begin teaching the people the Holy Scriptures.

(READ Nehemiah 8:1-9)

When they heard the Word of God, they were profoundly grieved. They were convicted. The more they heard the more they realized just how far they had strayed from God. Their failure was evident. Their guilt was obvious and they felt it deeply. They wept in sorrow.

I don’t doubt some will have feelings of guilt; will weep in sorrow.  Most will “skin their knee” or “re-open a wound” they thought was closed.  And, although it may have been “closed,” perhaps for it to heal completely, it needed to be “re- opened.” 

(READ Nehemiah 8:10-12)

Nehemiah 8:10 says that "The joy of the Lord is our strength," but joy and happiness are not the same thing. The "joy of the Lord" is a deep sense of satisfaction and contentment that comes from knowing that God loves you deeply and is always with you.

The joy of the Lord comes from recognizing, even celebrating, that God will bring us out of exile; out of the bondage of our past and replace whatever sorrow, pain, or bitterness this exercise might create within us with a sense of JOY.  For it is when we move beyond denial and insanity that we find true joy in life!  And that is God’s desire for us.  Jesus said it was that reason He came… “to give us life and life to the full.” 

Nehemiah 8.10 also states we are to “go and celebrate with a feast … and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared.” 

A generous donor provided the entire Remedy group with a dinner of fried chicken, potato salad, cookies, and soft drinks!  WE HAD A MEAL AS A FAMILY!!!   We celebrated with a feast!! 

Identity Theft

The overall theme of the evening was Experiencing the love of Christ – a  love that is so great it cannot be explained only experienced.

In today’s culture, one of the frustrations and fears we face is Identity Theft.  A couple of years ago, I received a receipt in the mail for a bunch of make-up I had purchased on-line.  Except I had NOT purchased it!  Someone somehow had stolen my identity and used by credit card! 

Identity theft is not limited to on-line accounts and credit cards.  Addiction is a form of Identity theft.

For years I assumed a false identity because of the fact that I struggle with drugs and alcohol.  I was so ashamed of who I was, I hid from family and friends.  In fact, I almost came close to ruining any chance at a relationship with Dawn because:  1. I got drunk before I was supposed to hang out with her family, and 2.  I was so ashamed of my lack of self-control,  I didn’t think I could ever face her again. 

The false identity I knew in my heart was true was that I was a loser, an alcoholic, a drug user with a very “troubled” past.  

I was a victim of Identity Theft before I even knew what Identity Theft was!! 

Most addicts I know have had their identity stolen by their addiction. 

You are not your addiction.  As many times as I say that; as many times you are told that; as many times as we know that; there are an equal amount of times we don’t believe it.  We cannot seem to break the thought pattern that we are defined by our addiction!  While it is invaluable to recognize that we do have a problem that is NOT our identity.  While introducing oneself as an addict/alcoholic at an AA meeting in a previous life is acceptable in those circles, it is not acceptable at any Christ-centered recovery group! 

Why?  Because Christ has given you and I a new identity.  For holistic recovery to become a reality, we have to learn to separate our identity from our addiction – our behavior! 

1 Corinthians 6.9-11 list of behaviors that have potential to steal our ID

v’s 9&10. (read)

Those verses are an inclusive but certainly not an exhaustive list of behaviors that have the potential of robbing us of our true identity.

Two key words in these verses help us understand and apply them to our lives. 

  

One: Indulge means to give free rein to; to enjoy to excess

Two: Inherit means to become the owner of something in accordance with legal succession.

Kingdom of God is not a destination.  The Kingdom of God is the spiritual realm where God’s percepts and principles for life are manifest in our lives.

Luke 17:21 -  Jesus states, “You won’t be able to say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘It’s over there!’ For the Kingdom of God is already among you. ”

Romans 14:17 – The apostle Paul writes,  “For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

1 Corinthians 4:20 – Paul writes, “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.”

The Kingdom of God is when your heart connects with God’s heart; when you seek what God seeks; when your passion is to obey God’s precepts and principles; when you are totally surrendered to God. 

No one in human history has attained a 100% surrendering of their will to God.  Some come close while others, well, they suffer from that chosen blindness we talked about last week.  Often we chose to not see or refuse to see the areas of our lives that are contrary to the Kingdom of God. 

 And that’s where His grace kicks in… for we all sin and fall short of the glory of God; none of us “deserve” to inherit the Kingdom of God!  The ground is level at the foot of the cross! 

v. 11 (read)

BUT… a big word!  (So, I guess we’re supposed to have “big buts”!?)

God doesn’t just empower us to change our behavior, when we identify ourselves with Christ; we have a new identity!!  We’ll always remember that we are predisposed to a particular addiction but we no longer “indulge” ourselves in our addiction. And, honestly, our progress but not perfection mindset (NOT an all or nothing) grounds us in the fact that we may slip up. 

But we should no longer see our addiction as the definition of who we are. 

Ephesians 1.5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

You are part of God’s family.  You are a child of God.  That is your true identity. 

Let’s be honest, in the depths of our addiction, we WERE about as far away from the KOG as we could be.  And, yet, it states in Romans 5 that while we were still sinners, Christ died for the forgiveness of sin so we could be find “peace with God.” 

The love of Christ.  A love so deep, so high, so wide and so long it cannot be explained, only experienced! 

Revolution!

Our overall theme of the meeting was “Experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit.” 

There is lots of confusion about the Holy Spirit.  So, to avoid confusion, we went directly to Jesus’ teaching on the Holy Spirit in John 14.15-27.

In his book, Breathing Under Water, R. Rohr summarizes these verses: “Jesus calls this implanted Spirit the “Advocate” (John 14.16) who is “with you and in you” (14.17), who makes you live with the same life that he lives (14.19), and unites you to everything else (14.18,20).  He goes on to say that this “Spirit of truth” will “teach you everything” (14.26) and “remind” you of all you need to know (14.26).  Talk about being well equipped for life from a Secret Inner Source!  It really is too good to believe – and so we don’t.” 

We had some fun defining revolting, revolt, and revolution.   Paul states in Ephesians 4.17-24 that we are called to be part of a revolution!

¹⁷ With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. ¹⁸ Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. ¹⁹ They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

²⁰ But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. ²¹ Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, ²² throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. ²³ Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ²⁴ Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. (NLT, my emphasis)

To be part of this revolution, we have to have the right mindset.

I was told when I first started my journey of recovery that my emotional age was the age of when I first started using.  Basically I was told I had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old! And I was 39 years old!  Scientific research verifies the validity of that statement.  But I’m not alone.  The same is true about all of us! 

Drugs not only stunt our growth emotionally, they affect the frontal lobe of our brains to the point we are unable to make logical, rational choices about life!  That’s one of the primary reasons that when we are dependent on drugs, alcohol, food, pornography, sex, etc., that the most important thing in life becomes our “drug of choice!”  Family, friends, career, safety, and consequences of our choices become of little or no importance to us.  Because of the brain changes caused by addictive drugs, drug use becomes central to the addict’s life.

Our addictions attack our rational thought process.  They block our ability to make wise choices!  They distort the truth about God, about who we are, and about our relationship with others.  They blur the lines of what is right and wrong.   

Recovery, then, for most of us, whether we’re 25 or 65, can be like growing up all over again.  We need to learn to live life differently.  To live life differently, we need to change our thought process, mature emotionally, and examine our behaviors.  Recovery is about taking back control over our lives!!!

Let’s take a closer look at this “call to revolution.” 

v.17-19 –  We all have a “dark side.”  It’s commonly called the “shadow self.”  It’s that part of us we do not want to see or cannot see.  It is that bit of chosen blindness that allows us to do evil and cruel things – without recognizing them as evil and cruel.  We’re blind because we don’t have the right mindset.  The blindness is the result of the brain distortion caused by our drug of choice/our addiction.  We all have that which we cannot see or refuse to see.

v.20-22 – There are several translations of these phrase.  The most common three are: “throw off” “set aside” “put off.”  Regardless of translation, it is something done with intention and effort.   Not something God is going to do FOR you but with you and within you.  Learning to live life differently is not a microwave event; it is a lifelong process. 

We had a group discussion of what we “lust” for in our lives.  Mentioned were:  power, control of another, drug of choice, a relationship, and money.  We also decided that “deception” is the same as manipulation – lying, cheating, using another, etc. 

We also came to the understanding that the only way to get rid of these characteristics was to “let the Spirit renew our thoughts and “values/attitudes.” 

v. 23 – “renew.”   A friend of mine bought an old medical bag at an auction that was filled with all kinds of old surgical tools.  The most startling was an instrument that resembled “a scoop.”  We laughed and wondered what it was used for!  To renew our thoughts and attitudes, we have to allow the Holy Spirit to “scoop out” the old alcohol-soaked and drug-distorted behaviors embedded in our damaged brains and be transformed!

One translation of verse 23 states we are called to a “spiritual revolution”!!

We joined the revolution by receiving a bandana showing our “gang colors” and we adopted a “gang sign.”  We agreed that we would revolt against the old way of life and that we would “fight to the end”!!

v. 24. The Message offers this translation:  “And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.”

The character of God manifests itself in what’s become known as the Fruit of the Spirit.  Galatians 5.22&23. 

This week’s homework: 

Your words: What was the most significant lesson you learned tonight?

Your story:  

Ø  “We all have a ‘dark side.’  It’s commonly called the ‘shadow self.’  It’s that part of us we do not want to see or cannot see.  It is that bit of chosen blindness that allows us to do evil and cruel things – without recognizing them as evil and cruel.”

When is a time in your life when evil won out in your life?  What has changed to lead you to good?

Ø  What does it mean to you to be called to a “spiritual revolution”? 

Ø  Jesus states that the Holy Spirit “lives with you” and “in you.”  The results of the inner workings of the Holy Spirit are listed in Galatians 5.22&23.  (read)

Share about a time when the Holy Spirit worked in your life to “produce this kind of fruit”? (you select the fruit)

Are We There Yet?

Our overall theme for the evening was “Encountering God, the Creator of everything.”   [Eph. 3.14] Having a correct view of God as a Father who cares deeply for humanity regardless of their past.

“Are we there yet?”  Those of us who have traveled any distance with kids (and adults) have heard that question asked numerous times.  When Dawn and I travel, we often say, “I am so ready to be there.” 

Often times, on the journey of recovery, we become discouraged and have those same thoughts... “Am I there yet?” and “I am so ready to be there.”  Our desire is to “get there; to arrive; to be “normal.”  And, yet, we know in our hearts that our journey will never be over and we’ll never be normal.  And discouragement can easily set in and cause us to give up – quite trying and relapse.

How do we disarm discouragement? 

HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE.  I think the best way to look at your journey is to have the mindset that you are going to do your best on the path of recovery with the firm understanding that no one ever completes it perfectly on this side of eternity.  

Accept and embrace a “progress not perfection” attitude.

BE PERSISTENT.  Even though you know you’ll never achieve perfection or become a “former addict,” never quit the journey.  GOD NEVER GIVES UP ON YOU… and if HE doesn’t give up, why should you?  Do you think you know you better than God knows you?  What’s best for you? 

Never give up because God never gives up! 

YOU’RE NOT ALONE on the journey.   At Remedy not only are we in recovery together, we do life together!  More importantly is the fact is that God is with you, too. 

In fact, HE IS TRAVELING WITH YOU.  Philippians 2.13: “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”   

The combination of a positive attitude and energetic effort is a part of the mystery of our cooperative effort with God “to do what pleases Him.” 

This verse states that God is working with you not against you.  The sense that God is working against us is most prevalent when we face trials and problems.  (Read Romans 5.3&4.)  We would all like an “instant recovery”!   God could change us in an instant but He chooses to change us one step at a time using trials and problems that allow us to develop endurance (persistence) and strength of character.  So, although it may seem like at times He’s against you, in reality, He’s got your back!   He knows what’s best and He wants the very best for you.  God has not left us alone in our struggles.  He wants to come alongside us and be within us to help.  God gives us the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.  The secret to a changed life is to submit to God’s control and let Him work.  “Work like it’s all up to God; pray like it’s all up to you.” 

This verse also tells us that He has picked the trail for us to follow.  Your addiction is NOT unique but YOU are!  God knows you personally and knows what it is in YOUR life that needs to be done “to please Him.” 

Discouragement often occurs when the way we think things should go don’t work out the way WE think they should.  Basically, we’ve picked the trail and headed down the wrong fork in the trail.  To get back on, we need to surrender every aspect of our life to HIS control and guidance. 

There is no shortcut on the path to wholeness.   To disarm discouragement:  1. Have a positive attitude.  2.  Be persistent.  3.  You are not alone.   4.  God is working for you not against you.  5.  Follow the path God has selected.6.  Surrender

E – Teaching – Ephesians 3.12 -21

Encountering God, the Creator of everything [Eph. 3.14]

A correct view of God as a Father who cares deeply for humanity regardless of their past

We are “image bearers” of God [see Genesis 1.27]

Experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit [3.16]

                Power to change core beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors

We are empowered by the Holy Spirit. 

Experiencing the love of Christ [3.18 & 19]

                A love so great it cannot be explained only experienced.

The love of Christ reaches into every corner of our life experience.

The love of Christ is wide: it reaches every experience in life. 

It is long: it continues the length of our lives. 

It is high:  it rises to the heights of our celebration and elation. 

It is deep: it reaches to the depths of discouragement, despair, and even death. 

When you feel shut out or isolated, remember you can never be lost to the love of Christ. 

Experiencing becoming a fully functioning human through the implantation of Christ [3.19-21]

In union with Christ and through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we are complete.   We have all the fullness of God available to us.  We must appropriate that fullness through faith and prayer as we daily live for him.