Taker to Giver

Remember the old days when life was all about feeding our addiction(s)?  How many of us would lie to loved ones; manipulate; invent ‘crisis’ to get money to feed our habit; steal.  And the absurd reality was that the more we lied, manipulated, cheated, stole, the more and more we became convinced we were the ‘center of the universe’ and nothing mattered more than what our minds craved.  Lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, controlling, yelling became our normal behavior.  And while we fed our addiction, our family and friends considered us “takers” because we were running rough shod over them to satisfy our own needs. 

Evidently, there were some “Christian addicts/takers” in the church at Ephesus because Paul writes in Ephesians 4.28, “If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.” 

As our brain heals from the damage we have caused through our addiction – whether that is from drugs, alcohol, food or pornography—we will have lingering learned behavioral patterns that need to be corrected.   In the process of long term recovery, we need to learn how to move from being a “taker” to a “giver.”  How to “quit stealing,” be self-sufficient, and how to “give generously to others in need.”   

We are instructed by Scripture to:

Quit stealing.  In the Encarta Dictionary to steal means to get or take something secretly or through trickery; to take something from someone illegally or without the owner’s permission. 

Material things are not the only things that can be stolen.  Some of us may have stolen something and visited the pawn shop to get some cash.  But all of us have stolen things more precious than any material item you can imagine.  Broken promises; using others; lying; all are forms of “taking something from someone.”  We steal trust; respect; the other person’s sense of self-worth – things that you cannot place a monetary value on.  

Become self-sufficient.  “Use our hands for good hard work.”  A troublesome lingering behavior pattern among those in the early stages of recovery is a strong sense of entitlement.  There are a plethora of reasons for this but I notice it especially among younger people.  Not judging just saying.

The visual about the “towel” was posted on Facebook by Cara Waddell.  I thought it summarized this part of the lesson quite well.  So, thanks, Cara. 

Give generously to others in need.  Material things are not the only things that can be given to others.

A great illustration of an individual being transformed from a “taker” to a “giver” is found in Luke19.1-10.    

What is the process of being transformed from a “taker” to a “giver”? 

v.1&2 - Zacchaeus was a man of some prominence. His name in Hebrew means, “righteous,” but he was not thought of as being anywhere close to righteous because he was a tax collector.  If you became a Roman tax collector as a Jew it meant three things. One, your family would disown you. Two, you would never be allowed to worship in the synagogue, and three, you’d be looked at as bad as a murderer.

To become a tax collector you had to bribe an official. Then, Roman officials would tell you how much you needed to collect, and if you were able to collect more through whatever means you deemed acceptable, you could keep the extra.  So his only real achievement he ever had was overcharging people and cheating them for his own financial gain. He was wealthy; he was a “taker.” 

v.3&4 - Zacchaeus shocked the crowds.  How?  He ran through the crowds and climbed a tree.  Not what a person of wealth would do in that culture at that time! 

What was more shocking to the crowds is what Jesus did!

v.5-6 – Jesus reached out to this “taker” by “calling him by name.”   To the Hebrews a name was not a label, or a tool to distinguish one person from another.   A person's name was viewed as equivalent to the person himself. A person's name signified their person, worth, character, reputation.  Jesus was able to see beyond the behavior and saw in him the potential to live up to his name – “righteous.” 

v, 7 – The truth is we are a lot like Zacchaeus in the eyes of those we have taken from – a notorious sinner. We have all done things that have hurt others. We’ve lived a life of taking with little or no thought of being a “giver.”   But Jesus is far more interested in changing us than He is in condemning us. So He looks at you and He says, “I know you, I love you.   And, in spite of all that you’ve done, I want you to have a relationship with Me.”

v. 8&9 - Something had happened in his heart because the most selfish man in the city all of a sudden became the most generous man in the city.  Jewish law called for restitution to be the original amount plus 20%.  Zach was giving back FOUR times the amount! 

What happened? Jesus Christ and the love of God changed him - that’s what happened.  Jesus had changed his heart.  What Zacchaeus gave others flowed out of a heart of gratitude for what Christ had done for him.  He didn’t do it for recognition, self-gratification, to draw attention to himself, or for the “t-shirt.”  What he did was from his changed heart! 

When you have a relationship with Jesus, your attitudes change. You become a more generous person. All of a sudden you start thinking about other people. You realize how much you’ve been given and you want to give back.  Your mindset changes from one of “what can I take to meet my own needs?”  to one of “what can I give to those in need?”

I believe Zacchaeus was miserable little man on the inside.  You can’t have a guilty conscious and feel good about yourself at the same time. He knew that he was ripping people off, and that would have caused him to lose most of his self-respect over a period of time. What we have here is a guy who was a “taker,” who had had a lot of money but had been separated from everything important in life. But one day, a brief encounter with Jesus, changed his life.

What does it take to move from being a “taker” to a “giver”?  An encounter with Jesus! 

William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, understood the importance of asking God to change him. This prayer was in his journal: “Lord, I give you everything there is in this man, William Booth. Do with me what you will.” God loves to hear prayers like this because they represent a surrendered life and a willingness to change.

Have you surrendered “all to Jesus”? 

Proud and Confident

My toast to the bride:

“A few months ago, a newspaper reporter described me as having a ‘lean frame and a confident gaze.’  If he saw me today, he would have to add the word ‘proud’ to the description. 

When I gaze at my little girl, I am very proud of the wonderful young lady she has become.  My awkward little girl has become a beautiful, confident, responsible, and charming young lady. 

I am very proud, as well, that no matter how old she gets, she will always be my ‘little girl.’ 

When I gaze upon my little girl, I am confident that God has blessed her with a young man who loves her almost as much as I do! 

I am confident as well, that when Wendy and Colter gaze into each other’s eyes, they see forever. 

I’m very proud, too, to call Colter, son. 

I love you two… “

It Starts With a Decision

I’m an Olympic junkie.  I can’t seem to get enough of the Olympics.  Even the ads that lead up to the Olympics were incredible.  I am constantly amazed at the level of athleticism of the Olympians.  In my opinion, the common characteristic of these athletes is endurance. 

Endurance is defined by the Encarta Dictionary as the survival or persistence of something despite the ravages of time; to last or survive over a period of time, especially when faced with difficulties.  The rigorous training; the personal sacrifice; all they must endure is, to me, phenomenal.  The challenges they face leading up to the Olympics requires endurance – to last or survive when faced with difficulties. 

In chatting with my sister-in-law, Kristi, an exercise physiologist, I learned that endurance begins with a decision; a goal.  It is then developed in small increments of increase which, in turn, develops the muscles required to complete the challenge; to win the gold. 

Endurance.   I believe it is the key to a gold medal in the Olympics. It is the key to life.   It is the key to a successful journey of recovery.  It is the key to love.  

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,

and endures through every circumstance.

 1 Cor. 13.7 NLT.   

“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust,

no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything.”

Phillips paraphrase

                                                                                                                                 

For human love to endure through every circumstance, we need to develop our heart muscle.

As a tricotomist, I believe we are composed of three different entities: body, soul, and spirit (1Thessolonians 5.23).  When the Bible speaks of the heart, it is referring to the place within our beings where these three are united in balance and harmony. 

I’d like to suggest a “heart healthy” exercise program to build enduring love.   Enduring love is built by first having the desire and implementing this exercise program in increments thereby producing endurance! 

Refresh the body. When you’re tired, little things become big things!  Many of you are just too tired to love your spouse, kids, neighbor.  Your “heart” muscle needs to rest and be refreshed.

1.        Rest – You have six days each week for your ordinary work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. (Ex. 20.9-11) 

(At the meeting, I told a funny story about a bowling pin and a running shoe!)

2.       Balanced diet – for some that means a Big Mac in each hand.  That’s not what I mean.

3.       Regular exercise. Exercising increases energy.

Recharge the Soul. 

1.        Solitude – Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. (Mark 6.31 NLT)

I read this quote on-line:  If you’re burning the candle at both ends, you’re not as bright as you think you are! 

2.        Recreation.  “re-create”  What energizes you? 

3.       Laughter.  Lots of studies indicate the health benefits of laughter.

Renew the spirit. 

1.        Daily Quiet Time.  Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. (1Tim.4.7 Msg).

2.       Small group.  Place you can share struggles and victories.  Heb.10.24/25.  Trust and meaningful relations don’t happen in a couple of meetings.  Call/email/sit together at church/go to coffee/lunch. 

3.       Worship.  Throw in a good CD or tune in KLOVE or AirOne.  And don’t just listen; “make a joyful noise” !!  Pigs make a joyful noise when they’re eating so you don’t have to sing good to “make a joyful noise.” 

This is so important because your relationship with God determines the quality of your relationship with others.  Jesus told us to “love God and others”

God’s love for you is described in the 1 Corinthians 13.4-7.

Pass it on to others….